All the Junk You Never Knew You Didn't Need

Anyone who has had the fortune to travel on one of the airlines that carry Sky Mall will be familiar with their range of products. Seen by more than 650 million passengers each year, Sky Mall offers travelers the opportunity to shop for a variety of items, but they specialize in homeware, outdoor accessories, health solutions and products that will make you (and your pets) look absolutely ridiculous. Here is a selection of products I've enjoyed recently:

The 24/7 Self-Cleaning Litter Box

$339.99-$359.99

Priced between $339.99 and $359.99, this litter box puts waste into a "hidden drawer," and has the added bonus of making your cat look like it's in a spaceship. Or perhaps one of those old deep-sea diving helmets.

Cat Toilet Training System

$49.99

The Cat Toilet Training System is to help you train your cat to use a human toilet, much like Mr. Jinx in Meet the Parents. I'm not sure why you'd want that. And from the looks of the picture, the cat might not be a big fan either. 

Toilet Dog & Cat Water Bowl

$39.99

This one's kind of self-explanatory, to the extent that a miniature toilet for a pet's drinking water can be explained. It not only promises to be a "hilarious conversation starter" (because I'm always looking for hilarious ways to start conversations with people who are already in my home), the description also explains the physics behind it: "gravity pulls water into the bowl." Glad we cleared that one up.

SkyRest Travel Pillow

$29.95

Just imagine if the person next to you on the plane busted this out. 

28" Relax 'N Nap Pillow (link not available)

$89.95

Unfortunately, the actual item isn't for sale online right now, only the pillow covers. My Mum and I both think she looks like she's dead.

Zombie of Montclaire Moors Statue

$99.95

I can only assume that this sells very well, since it continues to appear, issue after issue. I hope to one day attend a BBQ and see one of these beauties clambering out of the ground. Assembly required.

King Tut's Egyptian Throne

$1,150, plus $79 shipping 

At $1,150 plus shipping, this one's as easy on the wallet as it is on the eyes, but I'm pretty sure you'd want two of them. And probably the Anubis statue too. You wouldn't want it to look out of place.

Life-size Anubis Statue

$1,250, plus $49 shipping.

8ft+ tall. Regal. Tasteful. Just what you've been looking for to complete the living room.

Portable Infrared Sauna

$399.99

For all those times when you're on the road and wish you'd been able to bring your sauna along with you. Look how much fun she's having. That could be you.

Wrist Cell Phone Carrier

$29.95

Demonstrating their great grasp of tween/teen style, Sky Mall offers this cellphone carrier, which not only offers a "unique solution to the misplaced cell phone," it "can also make a fashion statement." Ok, Sky Mall.

iRestore Hair Laser

$599.00

Promises "fuller, thicker, and healthier looking hair." For $600, you'd better hope it works. Although, even if it doesn't, I imagine it still provides a fairly spectacular light show. Win-win. Also, her attire would indicate that it's suitable for use right before you head out to your year 7 disco (or, for American readers: your 6th grade... dance? I'm not sure there exists a cultural analog.)

Bionic Ear Sound Amplifier

$179.95

I’m fairly certain this is the same product they used to market purely as a surveillance device, great for "hearing conversations at a distance". Now, the description talks about birdwatching and other “outdoor adventures.” I presume the change was to make it seem like an altogether less-creepy device, but the fact they also sell UltraSpy Hearing Ear Muffs, Spy Super Ear Hearing Enhancer and Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier (only one of which warns of the illegality of “secretly intercepting oral communication”) makes me question how many of those who purchase it use it for those legitimate, non-creepy pursuits...

There are, unfortunately, some products which they seem to have stopped selling. The hotdog and bun cooker, much beloved of Randy from My Name is Earl, is nowhere to be seen. Their range of dog staircases used to be much more extensive. The poor economy affects us all in different ways, I suppose. Thankfully, I was able to get a picture of one old favorite, the pet stroller.

Diamond Jubilee Days

After a long hiatus, I’m back. I didn't manage to blog at all last semester, but I promise intend to be much better at it from now on. After finals week and a great trip to Eugene, I went back to the UK for a three-week visit. It so happened that my return coincided with the Diamond Jubilee – the 60^th anniversary of the Queen’s coronation. This is certainly a big summer for London, and the UK more generally, with both the Jubilee and the Olympics in late-July/early August, so it was therefore interesting to see the ways in which it prepared for and marked these big occasions.

While I’m obviously far from a royalist, it was nevertheless very cool to have this kind of national “big deal”, even if was essentially just a celebration that our unelected head of state was, well, still alive. All the same, I think I was still unprepared for the significant support for the monarchy that these events reflected. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so surprised – the Royal Wedding in 2011 showed there was an appetite for this type of celebration, but since I and many other Brits I know have no particular love for the Queen, it was still kind of a shock to see this outpouring of support for the monarchy.

I went down to London for the thousand-boat flotilla on the River Thames, an event which took significant planning and which hadn’t been attempted for more than three-hundred years. While the screams from the crowd every time the Queen appeared on the riverbank jumbotrons were a little weird, it was very cool and tremendously busy. At both this event and a beacon-lighting ceremony in Milton Keynes the next day, the crowd broke out into a spontaneous rendition of ‘God Save the Queen.’ Very weird. As someone who spends a fair amount of time talking about the UK with Americans, I suppose I think more about notions of national identity and patriotism than I might otherwise. It was therefore really interesting to witness these displays of outward… nationalism(?) that are largely uncharacteristic of the place I call home. It was a fascinating trip, and since I’m not going to be around for the Olympics, I’m glad I was able to be there for this.

After a 37-hour journey involving a few hours in an Atlanta hotel room, a conversation with a Mennonite from somewhere near Rochester and an upgrade to First Class for my domestic flight, I arrived back in Laramie to move house and begin my internship for the summer. The highlight of the Laramie summer calendar is an event known, funnily enough, as Jubilee Days, a festival-like celebration of the Western way of life. Events include a jalapeño-eating contest, a “dog wash and show”(?!), a “bed race,” a Brewfest and small rodeo events. I recently learnt about one particular rodeo event known as “mutton busting,” where – I kid you not – a child wearing a helmet and kneepads is put on the back of a sheep, which (much like their larger bovine/equine equivalents) quickly tries to remove the child from their back by running around.

I’m now more than halfway through my internship, an oral history project on Laramie’s West Side. While it has taken some patience, it’s been an interesting project involving listening to the stories of some of the neighborhood’s older residents. As part of my preparation for the project, I listened to some interviews from Storycorps, a large-scale oral history project, involving people interviewing family members, and segments of which have been broadcast on NPR. You can listen to two particularly nice and touching stories here and here.

I hope to keep you all updated with more posts in the near future! I leave you with a picture of a horse in my friend's front yard at a recent party.

Oh, Wyoming.